Oh my god Tony feels just…just everywhere, spilling out all over the floor, it’s TonyFeels 2.0, new and improved now with an extra dose of self-derision, and you know I bet he built that little landing pad onto Stark Tower the last time he was in NYC, when Fury told him they just wanted him to…
possibly the last one that's what i'm telling myself
Robert: I was voted 88th most handsome man in the world.
Rob: Where did David finish?
David: I was not listed.
Robert: I’m not so very sure David was mentioned.
Rob: Generally, Robert is considered the better looking of your outfit. But if it were me, I—can I say this, not in a gay way, but I think that you (turns to David) are easier on the eye than him. I think there’s something very pleasing—you may have noticed, but I’ve been looking at you a lot. Not in a gay way but I just…he looks lovely.
I just realized I was getting significantly anxious about who was winning more in an episode of a silly British panel show from four years ago.
This is made even sadder by the facts that I wasn’t anxious that one side was not doing as well as the other—I was anxious it might not be a draw. I like the draws best. I want Lee Mack and David Mitchell to always not win against each other.
David: I’ve never disagreed with anyone, but alright. I can imagine.
Jimmy: You’re disagreeing with me right now. So. This is what it’s like.
David: No, we both mean the same thing. You just don’t realize it yet.
David: Maybe they actually really did get on, deep down. Maybe there was a lot of love there. A lot of love and complicated feelings. Tears and hate, and they start fighting. Just…just to touch. To touch another human. And then the fighting begins getting a bit amorous—and then they start scratching the clothes off each other and then they fall in the pond and there’s no sex.
(David, on behind-the-scenes fights on children’s programming)
The biggest problem I’m having with my sudden manic obsession with Would I Lie To You?—and that’s saying something—is that so many of the lies are things I would willingly exchange a pinky toe for it to be true.
SPECIFICALLY: David Mitchell got ejected from a club for dancing on the table. The kicker for me, though, was that he explained the actual ejection happened when he flew into a righteous rage at the bouncer.
My dream version(s) of reality: (a) that was actually true shhhhh TV I know the truth it’s true or (b) Lee Mack and David Mitchell start a competition on the side where they find ways to trick the other into making lies from the show true and Lee simply has to incite David into a rage and then climb on the table himself, where David must follow him to continue to rant at him, and then they both get kicked out of a club.
So when I say “fair warning” and “the darkness is coming,” I am, of course, referring to the fact that I have been spending this week alternating between dissertating alone in an empty room of computers on campus during the day and watching Would I Lie To You? in the darkness of my lonely room at night and that this is having its expected toll on my sanity.
There are going to be ridiculous posts about Lee Mack and that wonderful bundle of magic and rage called David Mitchell coming soon. There are going to be MANY ridiculous posts. To be completely honest, I have a feeling I’m going to round this Week of Crazy out by writing fic about them.
This, kids, is a lesson about why too much school is Not Cool.